Tips for Women: How to Have a Relationship with a Guy

            Today’s reading by Barry I can only describe as hilarious. Literally, I was laughing out loud. Some of the stories in this book I have not necessarily found entertaining, in part because they haven’t been relatable. Many of them were written a while ago, and I’m sure they were extremely funny then, but seem to have lost some of their luster over time. However, Barry’s piece Tips for Women: How to Have a Relationship with a Guy was extremely relatable, in fact, embarrassingly so.

           

            Just yesterday I had about a three hour conversation with my best friend about whether or not the guy she is interested in likes her back because it’s been a month since they started dating and he hasn’t told her he likes her yet. This conversation being fresh in my mind only made the reading that much more enjoyable.

Barry does an excellent job of mocking both males and females in relationships, and frankly just makes both genders look downright stupid. He does this by portraying males as increasingly slow, stupid, and oblivious and depicting females as overly analytical and emotional. His juxtaposition of the two, in my opinion, is spot on.

            Barry creates the humor in this writing mostly through hyperbole, understatement, and of course, cognitive shifts. His first line begins with, “Contrary to what many women believe, it’s fairly easy to develop a long-term, stable, intimate, and mutually fulfilling relationship with a guy. Of course this guy has to be a Labrador retriever” (Barry 323). He then goes on to explain how mens’ and womens’ minds simply aren’t even on the same planet- forget about wavelengths.  He illustrates this perfectly with his Elaine and Roger example. It begins with Elaine making a remark about how long they have been dating. She then proceeds to over-analyze her comment extensively, thinking that Roger is hurt by her words (and thereby making the mistake in thinking he is actually giving more than 3 seconds thought to the matter). Roger is (of course) thinking about his car and completely unaware of the mental torture Elaine is going through.

            Obviously there is much exaggeration in this story. But that exaggeration serves to highlight the truth and reliability of what Barry is talking about. Yes, women are crazy and often turn into psychopaths in relationships. And yes, men are extremely unaware and afraid of commitment. But reading about it in this particular way is amusing, not offensive (at least it wasn’t to me) and makes you think twice about the way you personally conduct yourself in a relationship.

           

            I actually think this story might be something I would read in a magazine for pleasure. Truth be told, I’m thinking about showing it to my best friend, just for kicks.

Ice Cream? Yes Please

            Today Jinn and I went and got some ice cream at Menchie’s. We had some slight troubles figuring out where to meet up, but after that the rest of our meeting went smoothly. She picked me up outside of my dorm and even paid for my ice cream. What a gem, right? We talked about classes, and discovered that she is currently taking a class that I took last semester, Survey of Musical Theater. We both even had the same teacher! We talked about how much we enjoyed both the class and the professor. We then went on to discuss our bad teacher experiences, and how frustrating those situations are for Jinn as a foreign exchange student. We are actually taking a few similar classes, so it was nice to be able to swap stories and hear what she thinks of them.

            Jinn told me that she got a job in Milan this summer, so she will be leaving Texas in August and begins working in October. She said she is excited to go, but that it is a lot sooner than she had expected. I asked her if she thought she would end up back in China, and she said she didn’t think so. She enjoys being away, although she does miss her parents but they are coming out to Milan to visit during the summer. She said they are one of the only things she misses about China.

            We then talked a little bit about her schooling back home and she explained some of the differences between college in China and college here in the United States. She mentioned that in china, there is a difference between a college and university, typically a university means it is a 4 year school, where a college is typically only a few (2 or 3). It is also much harder to get into a university or college straight out of high school, and their admission is largely based on their tests result (like the SAT/ACT), whereas in the U.S. it is much more of a combination of a few different factors (GPA, extracurriculars, etc.). She told me about how much more rigorous their schooling is; she said she would wake up early and stay up all night studying.

            This is only my second meeting with Jinn, but every time we talk I am shocked by how well adjusted she is. She acts and talks almost identical to any young adult on this campus and she hasn’t even been here that long. She has already picked up on some of the slang terms, and she is very up to date on social media. She even told me she had seen some of my pictures on Facebook from this weekend, and had found my Instagram account. Needless to say, I was impressed. It’s nice to be able to talk to someone from so far away and yet still have so much to talk about.

            Overall, what I most enjoyed about my second meeting with Jinn was the ease at which we could hangout. It felt exactly like I was going out to ice cream with a friend I had known for years.

           

Are We There Yet?

In my personable opinion, Vacation 58 is the most enjoyable story we have read so far from The 50 Funniest American Writers. I’ll admit I was expecting this book as a whole to be pretty hysterical, and even though it hasn’t sent me into fits of laughter, it is significantly less sleep-inducing than Morreall so I can’t complain. But today’s reading in particular I actually found humorous, and not because I knew these stores were designed to make readers laugh.

The entire time I was reading, I was reminded of the novel Candide by Voltaire. It was the same kind of humor, extreme hyperbole and doused in exaggeration. It is comedic because none of it is feasible. The story begins slowly; at first the family just encounters struggle after struggle as they attempt to get on the road. Every little thing seems to set them back, and every time you think they are finally ready to go, something else comes up. It is one cognitive shift after another.

As the story progresses, the events become more and more dramatic. Because really, when was the last time you were driving and you suddenly realized you had dragged your dog to death? Yet that is what makes it so funny, the ease at which these horrible events happen, and the lack of emotion surrounding them. For example, when Aunt Edythe dies, they all react by strapping her to the roof and then dumping her at Normie’s house. There is no weeping, no mourning that she has passed away. They even feel bad that they don’t feel more sorrow at her death. What makes this event all the more dramatic is the fact that she’s been dead for hours and none of them even knew.

            Hughes repeatedly sets up these situations, drenched in irony, where you are expecting the story to progress in a natural way and then out of nowhere come these ridiculous curveballs (i.e., the Father robbing a motel, attacks from Indians, Walt Disney). And after each of these catastrophic events, the reactions are minimal. The family just keeps going; little emotion is devoted to handling the events that have just happened. No one seems to be seriously phased. And that is a cognitive shift in and of itself, because you are expecting horrific reactions from the other characters when these things happen. And yet they just continue on their journey.

The ending of the story is no different. The dad is arrested after shooting Walt Disney, and as the whole family is leaving the narrator remarks “We sort of forgot about dad as soon as the engines on the airplane trembled… we drank Coca-Cola… we enjoyed sandwiches as we flew into the pollen-free Arizona air” (Hughes 285). This is hardly the natural response we would expect from a family having to leave behind their father as he is getting tried for attempted murder and assault with a deadly weapon. The nonchalance that is characteristic of their responses underscores the irony and creates even more comic relief. I remember reading in one of Morreall’s chapters that the more exaggerated or unbelievable something is, typically the funnier we find it. And this certainly holds true in this particular story. As awful as it is to say, if the dog would have just been left outside the car would it still be as funny? Of course not. It is the incongruity and lack of reality about these situations that amuses us.

Chatting with Jinn

It was 3:50 as I left my dorm, heading to the bookstore where I was supposed to meet my conversation partner Jinn. I checked my email to see if she had responded to my last message only to discover that she had arrived 15 minutes early. Woops. My bad. Frantically, I sped up, not wanting to be late and give her a bad first impression. I was a little nervous going into the meeting; I had no idea what to expect. I was hoping our conversation wouldn’t be awkward and that we wouldn’t run out of things to talk about. A few minutes later I walked into the bookstore and spotted her almost immediately, and went up and introduced myself.  I apologized for being a little late when she was so early, and she kindly told me it wasn’t a big deal. She said she had just been browsing through some of the books, and found one about how to train your cat. We both laughed out loud. This was off to a good start.

            Jinn is 25 years old, and she’s from Mainland, China. I learned she has been here for almost a year (it’s exactly a year next month), and she said she was enjoying being here for the most part, although she really does not like the food. She is studying business, and so far has enjoyed her classes, except they are challenging. She says she has to work really hard at her English, which surprised me, as I didn’t have hardly any trouble understanding her. The gestures she uses and her way of speaking are very similar to the way American teenagers talk. I can already tell we are going to have some things in common.

            She went on to tell me about her boyfriend, an Italian man she met in China who is currently working in Texas, which is why she is here right now. She is studying business and trying to improve her English before her and her boyfriend move to Paris when he is relocated in a year or two. She was very open about herself; she told me a lot about her family and her life back in China in the short time we talked. I told her a bit about myself too, about my family and hometown, and she was very curious about how I ended up in Texas. I told her why I chose TCU, and then we talked about some of the great things about California (she’s visited once before) and our love for Malibu.

We also had a few good laughs. I’m talking real laughs, not just polite, courtesy laughs. Jinn told me when she first saw my profile picture on Facebook, she thought my dad was my boyfriend and then realized from the caption he was actually my father. We both chuckled for a while at that one. As we were wrapping up the conversation, she told me how glad she was that we had talked and I told her I was looking forward to meeting with her again.

            About 20 minutes after our meeting, I checked my email and found a very sweet message from Jinn, inviting me to go out with her and her classmates tomorrow night if I didn’t have any plans. Needless to say, it brought a huge smile to my face. I’m glad she enjoyed our time as much as I did. I can honestly say I’m looking forward to getting to know her better and I can’t wait for this friendship to develop.